Body

Look if you aren't singing Megan Thee Stallion in your head right now, you are probably one of my relatives. And if you are one of my relatives not singing Body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody, please don't look up the lyrics, you will not approve...which is sort of the exact point of this post. You see, for most of my life I've really tried to follow "the rules". I don't know who made up these rules or who is expecting me to follow them, but never-the-less I follow them fairly tightly. I mean the first time I ever drank, I called my mom sobbing because I thought I was a disappointment. Was definitely in college, didn't drink and drive, and although under-age, was a respectable 18 and the only crime committed other than the age thing was my poor choice in booze (so many pre-made mudslides and wine coolers were consumed...so many).

I'm not saying I lead the life of a saint. I drink, used to smoke (only the legal stuff and if you are a relative or friend who didn't know I used to smoke, sorry for disappointing), and I definitely cuss like a sailor. In a long line of southern republicans, I'm an independent. Always thought I'd be a wife and 2 kids, picket-fence and a dog kinda person. Pearls and heels, and if I grace the aisle of a church (and its been a loooonnnggg while) I'm definitely in a dress, probably with hosiery. All in all, I'm what most people would have called a "pretty good kid". I use mam and sir to the point where I struggle with it being rude to do so now, it's so ingrained it hurts not to use them. Other than my goth-ish stent in high school where I wore pretty creative clothing, I was still respectable and would never embarrass or shame my parents in public. My favorite phrase is definitely "I'm sorry". I actually apologized for being an inconvenience in labor and delivery because I was having precipitous labor 2 weeks early and I wasn't on my doc's schedule for the day.

For most of my life, I've been taught by society and my family to be respectable. As in how I look and act. When I started losing the weight and shaping up, I had this overwhelming pride. I did that. I put in the work. Look at what I can accomplish. I never was comfortable in shorts cause ugly legs, I never wanted to show my stomach because it went from just skinny, to fat. I was an average looking girl, who grew into an average looking woman. I was once told, "I mean, you're cute enough" and was definitely told by one boyfriend that I was cute, not hot and that I should be happy with that because cute was better than hot in his opinion. The thing is, now, I have the sort of tone and looks were people do stop me and say "nice arms" or "I want to look like you". Dude. It feels great. So I started wearing shorter shorts, and crop tops, and tanks. I let my in-laws see me in workout clothes. But there's always this little (okay it isn't little it is loud as hell) voice saying "you look trashy, people are staring at you".

People teach your kids, boys and girls, that it is absolutely fine to be proud of their body. Let them be okay with the world knowing they have one. It isn't a sexual object, its just a thing we all have. Don't make them be ashamed, don't make them worry about what people are going to say or think. Life is just so hard, we need to stop judging. Teach them that if someone acts lewd toward them, it is not their fault that people need to give respect and that is how to be respectable. I have no problem telling another person they look great. I also have no problem with someone complimenting my looks I say thank you, usually provide a compliment (nice shoes, like your shirt, who does your hair) and I move on. I do have an issue when they are lewd and make mmm-mmm-mmm noises like they want to eat me for a snack. I don't care if you run buck-ass nekked (as they say where I'm from) in front of me, that still isn't an invitation for me to sexualize your body (might say you have nice abs if you do, mine need some work). The body isn't shameful, it's a really cool biological machine. Celebrate it, treat it right, and be proud of yourself. You get one life, do good and that is how to be good. Not following some dumb imaginary rule book. At then end of the day, if I'm judged more on how much skin I show versus how many people I tried to give kindness and compassion, I'll go down as sinner with really nice traps and delts with pride for sure.